Baby June Battles The Dragon

One day mama, papa, caleb and june hike in the woods together. mama and caleb walk very fast while caleb talks about programming. soon, they are far down the trail out of sight. june is distracted by a lizard dancing on a large rock. she has stopped to watch, and papa stops with her. "what do you see, june?" papa asks. but june doesn't want to answer. "i don't want to tell you," she says. "i only want to tell mama." "can't you tell me?" papa asks. "no!" june yells angrily. "i only want to tell mama!" all her yelling attracts a dragon who happens to be flying overhead. dragon captures papa and flies off towards a distant mountain. june is sad and wants to save papa. she travels in the same direction that the dragon was flying. in the forest she encounters a knight who challenges her to a duel. june agrees, and when the knight charges she wallops him -- KAPOW! -- with a punch that sends him falling over backwards. having defeated the knight, she takes his sword and shield and journeys on to find the dragon and save papa. at the bottom of the mountain she comes to a bridge guarded by a troll. "halt!" calls the troll. "whoever wants to cross this bridge must answer me these questions three, ere the other side they see." "ask your questions, i am not afraid," june declares. "what ... is your name?" "my name is princess june elizabeth of the wolf clan," june answers. "next question." "what ... is your quest?" "i am on a quest to save my papa from the terrible dragon," june answers. "are these supposed to be hard? last question." "what ... is the pythagorean theorem?" the troll laughed wickedly, certain june would get the question wrong. "easy. in any right triangle, the square of each leg of the triangle added together will be the same as the square of the hypotenuse. a2 + b2 = c2." the troll gasps, astounded. "that ... is correct. nobody ever gets that one right, shoot." "can i go now?" june asks impatiently. "i have to save papa from the dragon." "yes," the troll says, still stunned that june knew the pythagorean theorem. "yes, go ahead and cross the bridge." june climbed the mountain to the dragon's lair. she saw papa trembling in a corner with the dragon about to eat him! "hey, mean old dragon," june yelled. "you leave my papa alone!" the dragon turned to see what was making this sudden racket. seeing june holding a sword and shield, the dragon laughed. "i'm sorry," the dragon chuckled, "did you say something, little girl?" "i said leave my papa alone!" june repeated. "or you'll, what, exactly?" the dragon asked. "i'll ..." june started to say. "i'll ... actually, can you hold on a second? i really have to pee." "by all means," agreed the dragon. "when you gotta go, you gotta go." the dragon laughed and laughed while june slipped out of sight. but june was clever. she didn't really need to pee, she just needed to distract the dragon so she could slip around to the other side of the dragon's cave and sneak attack from behind. "oh i have not had such a good laugh in such a long time," the dragon continued. "she needed to pee. how funny. ha ha ha." while the dragon convulsed with laughter, june slipped around behind and found the dragon's weakness -- a weak spot behind one of its scales near it's heart! "oh little girl," the dragon called out. "are you done using the bathroom yet?" "yes i am!" june cried out, stabbing the dragon in the heart with her sword. the stunned dragon fell down dead instantly. papa was saved! june ran and hugged him. "i'm so happy to see you!" she said. "thank you for saving me from the dragon," papa said. "papa?" june asks. "yes?" papa asks. "the thing i didn't want to tell you before. i was just watching a lizard dance on a rock. i'm sorry i didn't tell you." "it's ok," papa says. "why don't we go find mama and tell her? i'm sure she must be worried about us by now." "ok," june agreed. holding hands, they walk back down the mountain to find mama and caleb.